It started off with pure bliss from chapter 27. I was enjoying this new chapter and couldn't wait to turn the pages into seeing how chapter 29 would start off. I felt this undeniable sense of happiness and felt like I found the love of my life and soulmate. I felt like living in Massachusetts was my new home and where I'll reside and spend the rest of my days with my soulmate.....
But little did I know that sometimes good things have to come to an end. I know in the moment I felt an undeniable sense of love. A love that I've always yearned for, a sense of community, lifelong friends, and a best friend who was also my lover. But surely enough in the midst of all this I lost a sense of myself, my identity, and who I worked so hard to become in the future. It was a rude awakening for me. I either, one could continue down this path of being in love with someone and lose myself in the process or two, give up on love and continue to be who I am as a person. The hardest predicament I ever came across in my life. It was a big decision to make....
So in the midst of all of this....can you guess the choice I made either love or myself? Well if you guessed myself you are right! I know love is what everyone yearns for in life, but losing yourself in the process isn't the way it should be. I discovered that you should be able to have both things in life. Love and also be your best self at the same time. During my chapter 27 and a little bit of chapter 28 I was happy and in love, but I wasn't my pure authentic self. I felt like I was drowning and missing out on everything this life has to offer. I didn't realize this until we had a long talk about our future and it opened my heart to all the possibilities out there for me in this life. I know for a fact that life and time is never on our side. That time and life both are not guaranteed and you shouldn't spend a second of it doubting what if's and what could have been. That instead you should be soaking every moment and every day in. That you should be living every day to the fullest. You should be able to be your true authentic self and enjoy every aspect this life has to offer. You should surround yourself with other's who allow you to be yourself. You should be able to rediscover yourself every day all over again.
I honestly feel like losing myself for that time being allowed me to see how precious it is to give someone your time, you heart, and your best and worst days. I gave up a lot of myself and sacrificed a lot to find love and in the process I lost myself. However, I felt like if I didn't lose myself I wouldn't have been able to rediscover myself all over again especially in the ways I have now. I needed to go through this chapter to realize and notice how important it is to not lose yourself in this life no matter what for anyone. At the time I felt like these were mistakes, but they were actually beautiful life lessons. These lessons led me down a different path that I wouldn't have taken. I wouldn't have been able to taken these risks, I wouldn't have been strong enough to get through these obstacles if it wasn't for my previous chapters I endured, that I wouldn't know that whatever you're experiencing is just temporary and like seasons things will change and get better. I never lose sight of hope, I never lost faith, I never stopped believing in myself. I know that there is always greater days ahead of me and that there is a future waiting for me.
I'm close to turning the last few pages of chapter 28 and on my way to a new chapter - 29. The new chapter is already off to a great start. I moved to a new state and in a new town. I found my dream career. I bought myself my first car. I'm in the process of getting my own place. I made some new friends. I'm starting the new chapter with a new mindset and creating a new life for myself. I was able to use these past experiences to rediscover who I am as a person. I was able to find myself all over again and be reborn in a sense. I'm so glad I never gave up, remained hopeful, never lost faith and was able to preserve through all of this. I can't wait for what chapter 29 has in store for me. I feel like this chapter will lead me to my best chapter yet.
"I hope you never lose faith, I hope you never stop believing in yourself, I hope you know that there are always better days ahead of you. I hope you know that you shouldn't ever feel stuck. I hope you know that you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself for anything else in this life. I hope you know that if you lose yourself you can always find yourself again. I hope you know that life and time is short and never guaranteed. I hope you chose yourself over and over again in this life. I hope you chose what's best for you. I hope you remain your true authentic self and stay genuine to your soul and heart. I hope you know that you're allowed to chose yourself and do what's best for you. I hope you bet on yourself and chose yourself in this lifetime. I hope you never give up on yourself. I hope you enjoy every moment and every day as much as possibly can. I hope you give yourself the same love you give to others. I hope you realize that this is your life and you shouldn't live it for anyone else, but you."